The Millennial Games

Flirting couple in the park texting on smartphones

You have a better chance at surviving the purge and winning the Hunger Games than you do when it comes to navigating through this crazy world we call “Dating” as a Millennial.

We are the most connected generation, yet we are the most disconnected. We care about what’s going on hundreds of miles away, but it seems as if we have forgotten basic human skills such as holding the door for someone walking in after us at Starbucks.

Is Chivalry dead or is it just in a hiatus waiting for us to grow up?

Guys, grow up.

Just because you have a trendy beard doesn’t make you a man, just a boy that can shave. Quit the games, quit with the cryptic texts and the ghosting. Quit playing with another human’s emotion and be honest with them from the start.

It’s cool to knock at the girls door when you pick her up for your date, it’s cool to surprise her with something other than dinner and a movie, it’s cool to open the car door (or any door for that matter), it’s cool to walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street. Yes guys, these (and much more) are chivalrous acts we have put aside thanks to tinder, bumble, or whatever else we use to swipe right.

Ladies, grow up.

Just because a guy calls you or texts you saying “I had a great time” minutes after a date doesn’t make him desperate, it makes him the real deal. Just because the guy isn’t taking 45 minutes to reply to a text and is returning your texts rather quickly, it doesn’t make him weird, it makes him interested in you.

Don’t lower your standards just because you’re 28, single, with two cats (while looking to rescue another one), and all your friends are getting engaged, married, or having kids. Sure, that guy might “look good”, but what else does he have to offer you? Do you understand you’re worth more than gold? That the guy who dates you should look at you and know, “she’s a daughter of the King, I better not mess with her heart.”

We all live super busy lives. If a guy or a girl is texting you in the middle of the day, they care enough about you to see how your day is going.

I find it ironic that the same generation that loves instant gratification is afraid of when someone responds right away to a text. It’s shocking. Trying to act busy is not cute, it’s not cool, it’s just plain rude.

We tend to hold our true emotions from someone. If we show affection to someone we like or are interested in we get penalized. Millennials value seeing who can show less emotion, it’s a constant competition of who can care the least in a relationship. If we show emotion or act interested, the person we are interested in also considers that needy, or desperate and in the end will make them run the opposite direction. What kind of backward idea is that?

It’s mind-boggling to me how we treat other humans when it comes to dating, I’m mostly speaking to guys, but some ladies should read this too.

As Millennials, we don’t feel the slightest bit inclined to apologize when we hurt someone when it comes to relationships, it’s a sad reality. We just text them saying “It’s not working out,” or some other joke like that, and that’s it. You block their number, and you’ll randomly see them again in a few months and you’ll act like you never met them.

This is called ghosting, which is not okay. Ghosting means; if we’re no longer interested in someone, we don’t need to tell them, we simply stop responding.

However, the biggest issue facing Millennials as we navigate these choppy dating waters is trust.

Trust is severely lacking in our dating culture. In this golden era of meaningless hookups, our generation puts more value on what someone looks like or how they make them feel rather than someone who treats them with respect.

Millennials, we need to know our worth. Know that you are worth waiting for, know that you shouldn’t just hop from bed to bed to find your worth, you are the sons and daughters of the one true King, and he would never want you to feel anything less than that. You are royalty!

To the people who do know their worth and are criticized for not falling into this hookup mentality, remember this: if you are being made fun for not looking for cheap thrills every night, hang in there, your perfect guy or girl is doing the same; you just haven’t met them yet.

Because we sometimes don’t see what we are worth, we fall into the dark hole known as one night stands, which in turn makes us distrust the opposite sex. We’ve all had past experiences which left us hurt, broken, or unable to believe love will ever find us again.

My generation longs for the love we see in movies, yet we are not willing to wait, which leaves most with a void in their love life that they try to a temporary fix. However, when you wake up that next morning in a stranger’s house, you will feel empty once again and will go looking for the next fix; isn’t that what makes an addict?

Some don’t even trust that love exists anymore because they have constantly been met with disappointment.

Nevertheless, it’s out there don’t lose hope. We just need to grow up, stop playing the Millennial Games, and get serious.

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Lesson I Learned During My Starbucks Adventure

As I was waiting for my brother to finish getting his hair cut this afternoon, I decided to stop by starbucks to kill the time… Little did I know two girls would sit right behind me and not stop talking…

At first, it was odd to have these two talk at the top of their lungs about their love life… However, as I started listening to the conversation, it sounded more like a bad soap opera than real life.

One of the first things that stuck out to me was this:

Typical girl logic… Go for the guy who’s a jerk to you and not the one who actually treats you with respect… but then this happened:

I think it’s important to mention that the girl talking was about 21, at most 23. What is she doing with a married man in the first place? As I kept listening, she went into detail about how this man has a kid and how his (ex?) wife  hates him and how the kid has a rough time because she’s never around her mom… I admit, that’s messed up, but do you really need to talk about it in a loud voice at starbucks?

Then, things got very interesting:

Woah, woah, woah… Hold the phone! Did anyone else freak out like I did? This was a huge plot twist! Usualy you hear about infidelity on the man’s part, but this time the tables were turned and the wife actually cheated on him with another woman…

The girl continued to talk about how much she loves him (despite him being a dick to her):

I feel for her, I really do… But at the same time, I don’t feel bad at all. Then, just when I was about to judge her for being another one of those clueless Boca girls, the chick drops some words of truth that made me yell: PREACH!

Why can’t more women be like her? She pretty much called out her entire gender because she knows they are the ones who are friendzoning all the good guys, and dating all the jerks who don’t deserve a woman.

Now, just because this girl is smart, it doesn’t mean her friend shares her knowledge:

Oh honey… That’s the worst reason you can marry someone. What happens when he can’t keep it up? What happens if he isn’t the stallion he once was? Will the marriage crumble? maybe.

After that, the girls shared a few laughs over that remark before they decided to call it a night and leave.

I must admit, this was one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever heard in my life and I had a great time tweeting all of those out. However, as I sat there I started to realize something.. Why do women like the guys who treat them bad?

Think about it.

Every girl wants the “bad boy”. They want the guys who aren’t emotionally there, who don’t care about them, and only want to sleep with them. These guys are the ones who pull all the stops in the first date, and maybe go 110% into the relationship in the first month but drop to 10% after and these girls still love them no matter what.

Meanwhile, there you are.. The guy who adores her, treats her with respect, is always there for her, and all she sees in you is a friend, nothing more.

Let’s be real, is a girl who likes a “bad boy” someone you want to date? Why would you want a girl who wants someone who treats them with no respect?

Those girls might be fun to think about a relationship with, but at the end of the day they are already so broken that if you are the nice guy who tries to put the pieces back together, you’ll just fail. They like the guys who don’t treat them well, the like the kind of guys you are not. They want them, and they clearly don’t want you. Despite you showing them you are devoted to a relationship 200%.

If you are reading this and are thinking “wow, I’m in a situation just like this,” I urge you to let her go. Trust me, it’s not easy to do that, but at the end of the day you’ll save yourself time, money, and heartache.

Sometimes, what a girl like that needs is just a good friend to be there for her when everything crumbles down. So what? You’re not her boyfriend, but you are something that no boyfriend will ever be, her friend. The one who isn’t there just because you want to sleep with her, but rather the one who is there for her simply because you care so deeply for her that even if you had feelings for her, you will put them aside just so you can see her happy. Let’s be real, all that matters is her happiness, right?

I guess a better name for your position isn’t friend, but handyman.. You know, since you’ll be fixing a lot. Keep your head up though, who knows.. Maybe one day that girl will realize the only person who is always there for her is you and she’ll give you a shot.

(Honestly though… If that happens, please email me [pedro[at]heizer[dot]us] with your story so I know it can actually happen.)

Sorry But Not Sorry

Sometimes all we have left are words.

Words that can cheer you up, bring you down, teach you a lesson, or even make you angry. You work your whole life to build this persona of neatness but you forget that some people can just bring all that down in a matter of seconds. 

Sometimes in life all you need is a good “Leave me alone” moment. You know, those moments in life where you just rather sit in your room, and watch some TV rather than being out with people, or when you decide to go see a movie alone because you want to see it. (let’s be honest though, is it REALLY that weird when you go alone? When you go with people you don’t even talk to them anyways, so what’s the big deal about going alone?)

Some people try so hard to be “helpful” that sometimes what they do is the complete opposite. sometimes good intentions end up being bad decisions and you can’t help but wonder “why”.

Honestly, does it really matter what some people think about you? Does it make your life better or worse if people care? In the end, isn’t all that matters how you view yourself? If you like you who are and what you’ve become, does it really matter what others have to say?

Some will say that the approval of people makes them realize if they’ve made the right decision. 

Do you think LeBron regrets his decision to come to Miami? Even though the rest of the country HATED him for it, he knew deep down he had made the right decision and in the end, all those haters turned into admires (that’s all haters are anyways… confused admirers).

What was the point of that? simple. People nowadays care too much about what other people think, and care too little about what they themselves think. 

If we let the whole world dictate our lives, won’t that just make us pushovers?

Things to know before dating a writer

The whole professional writer thing is the only game I have.

To an unsuspecting potential mate, I’m just like every other unremarkable 21-year old with glasses in the bar. But when they ask me what I do with my time and I reply with, “I’m a writer, who covers sports and writes the occasional short story,” they melt.

I understand wanting to date one of us. I can’t blame you. We’re alluring. We’re elusive. We’re romantic. We’re witty. But you really need to know what you’re getting into.

We have no money.

We writers pour our hearts into soul-sucking work for next to nothing. That means we’re always going Dutch.

We can’t help it.

I’ve always been a storyteller. As a child, I wrote plays for each holiday and made my sister act them out with me, each year dusting off the script from the year before and editing it to perfection. My sister and I also played radio, putting on flamboyant personalities, coming up with catchphrases and interviewing each other on a tape recorder in between taping songs off the radio. I even created a family newspaper when my parents bought a computer, toying with fonts and adding photos to my stories, forcing my mom and dad to write me letters to the editor. I’ve always had a compulsion for communication. I just can’t turn it off.

Sometimes I have a flash of inspiration and I have to handle it then and there.

I’ll apologize now for flaking on you or for taking a break from whatever we’re doing to jot some stuff down. (See the above note about not being able to help it.) If I’m in the mood to write, I have to take advantage of it, especially when I force myself to write for pay all the time. You just never know when it’ll strike.

You’ll probably see yourself reflected in the work.

If you’re dating a writer and they don’t write about you — whether it’s good or bad — then they don’t love you. They just don’t. Writers fall in love with the people we find inspiring. If you don’t set my pen on fire, how are you going to set my bed on fire?

You can find out more than you’ve ever wanted to know about us on the Internet.

Seriously. Google me.

Writers are dramatic and often gossipy.

No matter what type of writer someone is, we all love hearing other people’s stories and we all love telling them. We’re also prone to dramatic episodes and operate in hyperbole. We’ll never admit how dramatic we are, but expect nothing less than improbable plot twists and extreme character development when recounting our trips to the grocery store.

Writers are crazy.

And I don’t mean crazy in the way people throw the word at anyone we disagree with, I actually mean insane. We’re often misunderstood and deeply troubled. We have to be at least a little bit mentally unstable, or we wouldn’t be any good at what we do. Really, who wants to read something a boring sane person wrote, anyway? Not me.

We’re actually not cool at all.

I know, it may seem cool to earn money from writing, but it’s not. It’s just what we do. I do not lead a glamorous life. Writing is mentally taxing labor — albeit conducted while in sweatpants on my couch and surrounded by cats — but labor just the same. And we almost never see the sun. Seriously. Take us on a midday stroll or something. We probably need a break from staring at those two paragraphs we were working on all morning.

All writers need a good editor, but that editor is probably not you.

We may ask for your opinion on our work, but unless you’ve won a Pulitzer or something, we’re gonna get pissed if you’re critical of our lifeblood. This works in reverse, too. I’ve had lovers ask me to review their work, only to balk when I rip it to shreds. What did you expect? People pay me to edit their work. If you don’t actually want my professional opinion, don’t ask for it.

Writers are pompous jerks who drink. A lot.

Mainly whiskey. Lots and lots of whiskey. In fact, most of us should just be paid in whiskey. I could just cut out the middleman, be it the bartender who has memorized my order or the guy who knows my name at the liquor store around the corner.

We keep irregular schedules at best.

One day Ill have three 1,000-word pieces due and a feature to fact check that I’ll work on until 4 a.m., and the next day I’ll start drinking with friends at 3 p.m. in a park. Just because I don’t have a job I go to, doesn’t mean I’m not busy.

Michael Bublé Releases new Single; Album slatted for US Release April 23rd

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My favorite artist of all time came out with a new single yesterday.

It’s A Beautiful Day is awesome, it has an uplifting tune and you think it’s one of those lame happy love songs songs, but when you listen closely to the lyrics, you’ll understand it’s about someone who’s glad a break-up happened.

If it stays true to other Bublé originals, the song is probably for one of his ex-girlfriends.

As you may know, Bublé and his wife are expecting a baby so this song most likely reflects one of Bublé’s past relationships and how he’s glad the person is no longer in his life because now he has a beautiful wife and expecting a baby.

If you are a fan of Michael Bublé, you will absolutely love this song.

His next studio album To Be Loved is slatted to be released in the US on April 23.

Here is the song:

The Purpose of Single Life

“When will I finally find someone?”, “I’m sick of being single!”

Le’t s be honest, everyone that’s single has asked this question one time or another, even if you act like you’re happy and go-lucky.. Don’t lie to yourself.  (Look, by no means is this a “woe is me” post, it’s the complete opposite so read on.)

Not only that, but you’ve also done everything in your power to change your status from “Single” to “In a relationship with _____”…

And there it is, your power.

Earlier today, I read a post by Jeff Cherr on this very topic and he wrote some great truth in there that I would like to share with you.

This isn’t in your power; you can’t just make someone like you. God has a plan for everything; yes even your relationship status. Maybe there’s a reason why you are single.

That’s the beauty of God, he knows what’s best for you even when you don’t.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. –  Is. 55:9

If you don’t believe in God, then sure, leave this post and go back to trying to fill your needs with whatever will make you happy.  However, if you do believe in God, read further, you’ll probably understand some things that even I didn’t think about before I read the post by Jeff.

Whether you believe it or not, God is for you.

If you are single right now, understand that God has you there because it’s for your best.

It wouldn’t be best for you right now to be with someone. As Jeff Cherry said, maybe He’s refining you and purging you of a sin that needs to be dealt with before you bring someone into your life.

Maybe it’s because He wants you to truly trust Him and build a solid foundation with Him first.

Maybe it’s because He is using you in a mighty way that couldn’t be done if you were married right now.

If you’re single, there’s a reason. Don’t waste your single moments worrying about it just because everyone else is in a relationship or because you have come to a point in your life where you have become desperate to be in a relationship.

I understand this is a hard concept for many to grasp. It’s been a hard concept for myself to grasp but I’ve come to the realization it’s not on my time, but His.

I rather be single right now than be in a meaningless relationship with someone that won’t be anything in my life a year from now.

I’ve seen Facebook statuses going from “Single” to “In a relationship” to “It’s complicated” and back to “Single” in a 72-hour span… That’s not a relationship, that’s a weird fling.

Wouldn’t you rather spend your life perfectly lonely rather than to make a rushed decision to cure your loneliness? Imagine finding out you’ve waited all of these years to get it right and then in a moment of ignorance, loneliness, and desperation, you get it wrong because you’re looking to cure a moment’s need with a lifetime commitment? Listen, the moment you settle for less than you are worth, you will obtain even less than you settled for.

So for now, I’ll be content with being single. Sure, I joke around about that #ForeverAlone and say I don’t like Valentine’s Day, but here’s a secret, even some people in relationships don’t like Valentine’s Day…

So there you have it, this is my Valentine’s Day post.

The Paradox of our Age

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, yet more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; big men and small character; steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce; fancier houses but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember to say “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

This was originally written by Dr. Bob Morehead, but has been altered slightly while bouncing around on the internet since 1998

Mischief Managed: A Look Back at 11 Terrific Years

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2, feels like is a hollow victory. This film marks the end of both Harry’s and our own adventure; a story that has lingered throughout our childhoods and integrated itself firmly within our adult lives. Many of us embraced Harry at a young age and as such, have developed a maternal bond with the character over the years.

Harry Potter has been a huge part of my life these past 11 years and to see it finally come to an end was a bittersweet moment.

I remmeber like it was yesturday, Ms. Magnus’ fourth grade class was where I was first introduced to this awkward little boy who lived the cupboard Under the stairs.

To give you a little background, fourth grade was the first full year of school I had here in the United States and I didn’t know how to speak any English at all.

So when Ms. Magnus told the class that she would read with us all four Harry Potter books, I was ecstatic because this was my chance to learn how to read English.

I begged my father to purchase Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone for me at the local Target and he did. From the moment I had that book in my hands, I began reading it. I didn’t understand anything that I was reading but I kept at it, and everytime we would read in class, I would bring my little paperback copy and follow along.

To my disappointment, we never finished reading all four books in class but we did finish the first and the second. By the end of those two books, it was official, I was hooked. Not only was I hooked in the books, I had learned how to read English. So in a way, I can thank Harry Potter and JK Rowling for “teaching” me how to read.

As I moved to fifth grade, Harry followed me. When I found out Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone was going to be come a movie, I was the happiest fifth grader in the world.

To me, Harry was a real person. He was my age, at the time I was 11 and so was he.

I watched the first movie on November 17, 2001, and from then on, I have not missed a midnight showing of any of the Harry Potter movies to date.

Not only have I not missed a Harry Potter movie, I have read every single Harry Potter book at least twice.

Harry Potter is more than just a silly child’s book. Harry Potter is an era, Harry is the kid that everyone fell in love with and wanted to see succeed.

But what made Harry such a lovable person? Simple, Harry possessed traits that every single person in the world loves to see: humbleness, loyalty, and bravery.

One of the biggest themes of the Harry Potter series is humility. Harry was the boy who lived, he was the most famous wizard of all-time before he even picked up his first wand, and his humility was something that we all wish for.

One of the first things that Harry did that no one had ever done was become the seeker for the Gryffindor Quidditch team as a first year. Harry had skills that not even the most advanced Quidditch player had and he remained humble thoughout his Quidditch career.

Not only that but Harry was the hero in every single book, saving Ginny in the Chamber of Secrets, protecting an innocent Sirius Black escape from Azkabam, fighting Lord Voldertmort in the TriWizard Tournament, and every other time he had to, but he never let all that get to his head.

Another trait that Harry had that we all wished we had was his loyalty to his friends and loved ones.

Harry, Ron and Hermione became best friends from the moment they met at the Hogwarts Express in their first year at Hogwarts. Through the good times and the bad times, no matter what was going on between them, Harry, Ron, and Hermione always had eachother’s back.

Harry was loyal to his headmaster Albus Dumbledore even when the entire world was against him, Harry was there to protect Dumbledore’s good name.

As we know, Harry’s parents died when he was just boy when Voldermort went to killed them on a chilly October 31st night in Godric’s Hollow.

Harry’s only relatives were his aunt Petunia, uncle Vernon and his cousin Dudley. Harry, with good reason, hated them and couldn’t wait to leave the house. Then, in Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban, we are introduced to Sirius Black, Harry’s godfather and best friend of Harry’s father. Harry loved Sirius more than anyone in the world but his life was cut short when in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Bellatrix Lestrange killed him in battle. But it didn’t matter, Harry would always have his parents and godfather close to his heart and they were with him to the end.

Harry’s love for his family and friends, is something that everyone should have. He would have gone to the ends of the earth to protect those he loved dearly, and we should all learn from him.

Lastly, Harry was the bravest person I’ve ever known. The Boy Who Lived, was only kept alive so he could die at the right time to save the world from Voldermort.

In his first year at Hogwarts, Harry was already faced with Voldermort as he was a mere spirit hanging on to dear life by drinking unicorn blood and being part of Professor Quirrell. Harry defeated Voldertmort for the first time at a mere 11 years of age.

As we all know, Harry battled Voldertmort every step of the way. When everyone had given up hope, when everyone was ready to give Voldermort what he wanted, Harry’s hope never faltered. Harry defeated Voldertmort in the Chamber of Secrets, in the graveyard after Cedric Diggory’s death, in the Ministry of Magic after Sirius Black’s death and so on.

Harry Potter, was the series that made my generation what we are. Twilight, does not even come close to being what Harry Potter was to my generation. In 15 years from now, Harry Potter will be a classic and Twilight will be just that, a twilight. In 15 years from now, I know my kids will love Harry as much as I have in these wonderful 11 years I’ve had with him.

As I sat in the theater watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, I became sad at the end because I knew that as soon as the credits were over, the Harry Potter franchise would be over. No more would we wait in line until midnight to purchase the latest book and stay up all night until we finished it, no longer would we buy movie tickets at ridiculous high prices online months in advance of the movie and stay in line for hours to see the newest movie, it was all over.

As the final chapter of Harry Potter came to a close, I will cherish all the terrific moments I had reading, and re-reading those books. I’ll remember the great times with friends when we would stay over eachothers house to read the Harry Potter books together, I’ll remember the great friends I’ve made because we had one thing in common, a love for Harry Potter, all the great time I had with friends at the movies and much more.

I said earlier that this is the end of the Potter franchise, but I’m wrong. This is the begging, my generation will now spread Harry Potter to their kids and their kids will show it to their kids and Harry Potter will live on forever as one of the greatest series to have ever been written and I believe that one day it will be in the same sentence as Lord of the Rings.

One thing is for sure, after 11 years the thing I took from the Harry Potter series is this: friendship and the loyalty to those friendships is a beautiful thing.

No expectations, no disappointments… Simple as that

Try applying this to your life, it will do wonders… I promise. If you don’t expect something, you won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t happen.

If you are expecting the Miami Heat to win EVERY SINGLE GAME, and they lose a few games, you get disappointed and angry. If you expect someone to be different from everyone else but then you realize they are the same as everyone, you will be sad.

BUT, if you are not expecting the Heat to win every game, and they start losing, you wont be disappointed. If you don’t expect someone to be different than everyone else, you won’t be sad.

You’ll be neutral to it all. And trust me, that’s what gets under the skin of the person trying the disappoint you… they want you to be disappointed, they want you to be hurt, but if you don’t get disappointed, you will be the one WINNING at the end.

And at the end, isn’t that what life is about? WINNING? Don’t ever let things or people bring you down. If someone disappoints you, keep your head up homie something better is right around the corner. When one door closes it simply means that another door, a better door, is being opened (trust me on that one).

Until next time, stay classy my friends…

Pedro

That’s What You Get When You Let Your Heart Win…

Humans are always changing. One day you love someone so much and can’t stop thinking about them… The other, you are sitting with them at lunch and you are thinking to yourself: “What made me so attracted to this person?”

My theory on this subject is simple; We are in love with the person we thought they were, not who they really are… And this is why there is so much divorce in this country. People get married on emotion and after a while, they realize they have nothing in common except they both like having sex and they end up getting a divorce.

I’m not saying this has happened to me, not in the slightest bit. But, on Saturday a close friend of mine passed away and it made me think about the time we are given in the earth. My friend was 20 years old… I never though that a 10-year old was middle-aged… His death got to me, he was such a close friend in high school and to know he is gone from this earth is something I still can’t comprehend.

I was out to lunch with another friend of mine the other day, who I honestly like way too much. We haven’t seen eachother in a good amount of time, she’s always busy with work and everytime we plan something, something else ends up happening and we have to cancel… I don’t trust people, yet I want to be able to trust her… But that’s a whole different post for another day.

Given the fact I haven’t seen her in a while, I had this image of her in my mind from the other times we went out and I must admit, I was disappointed when I had lunch with her. She wasn’t the same person I had remembered.. Had she changed or was the image I had her in my mind something that was only what I wanted to see and just now I had opened my eyes?

What does the death of my friend have to do with a lunch date with this girl? Simple, I’ve realized that you never know when you will be gone from this earth. Look, I believe is Jesus. I know he saved me and that when I die I will go to heaven to be with him. But I would be lying to you right now if I said I was ready to die. It’s human intuition to want to survive. I want to live, I want to see all my hard work pay off, I want to be able to eventually get married one day, I want to see my articles published on ESPN, or something. But, if I was to die right now, I would not be worried in the slightest bit where I would go.

So, with me realizing how short life in this earth is, I thought to myself, “self, are you wasting precious time you have on this earth worried about this girl? Are you waiting for something to happen between you two? Are you wanting to be in a relationship with her?” the answer to all those were “yes”. I would go above and beyond for her but would she do the same? Am I just a very nice friend or am I something more? These are all questions that ran through my mind while at lunch.

I don’t know what made me lose the spark, but while we were sitting there, I was more worried about the score of a game that happened the night before then I was in our conversation. It’s not that she was boring, but it simply didn’t entertain me. She’s a very entertaining person and by no means was I bored. My mind was just somewhere else.

We had planned a lunch and then walk around and talk… During dinner she told me if we could skip the walking because she wasn’t feeling so well… Usually I would try very hard to change her mind, but this time I simply said no problem. I dont know if something is wrong with me…

Do I trust this girl? Yes, to an extent. Do I like her? More than you can imagine.

She’s so fun to be around. She’s smart, beautiful, funny and probably has the best smile in the face of the planet but I think I’m wasting my time with her simply because I don’t believe she feels the same. I don’t need to keep wasting my time like this, I can’t simply let my heart win. I need to be logical about this and realize that if nothing will happen between us, I need to slowly move on.

I don’t know… I still need to think about all this, but today I honestly didn’t feel the spark I’ve felt all the other times we’ve gone out… I like her, I really do. So, if you are the person I went out with and somehow you end up reading this, don’t get freaked out, or mad or angry at me… I’m just writing my thoughts…. As you know hun, I’m much better at expressing my thoughts in writing than I am speaking them… I like you, I truly do. As those innocent elementary school kids would say, I “like you like you”… If you read this, let me know what you think.

Until next time, stay classy my friends….

Pedro