The Millennial Games

Flirting couple in the park texting on smartphones

You have a better chance at surviving the purge and winning the Hunger Games than you do when it comes to navigating through this crazy world we call “Dating” as a Millennial.

We are the most connected generation, yet we are the most disconnected. We care about what’s going on hundreds of miles away, but it seems as if we have forgotten basic human skills such as holding the door for someone walking in after us at Starbucks.

Is Chivalry dead or is it just in a hiatus waiting for us to grow up?

Guys, grow up.

Just because you have a trendy beard doesn’t make you a man, just a boy that can shave. Quit the games, quit with the cryptic texts and the ghosting. Quit playing with another human’s emotion and be honest with them from the start.

It’s cool to knock at the girls door when you pick her up for your date, it’s cool to surprise her with something other than dinner and a movie, it’s cool to open the car door (or any door for that matter), it’s cool to walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street. Yes guys, these (and much more) are chivalrous acts we have put aside thanks to tinder, bumble, or whatever else we use to swipe right.

Ladies, grow up.

Just because a guy calls you or texts you saying “I had a great time” minutes after a date doesn’t make him desperate, it makes him the real deal. Just because the guy isn’t taking 45 minutes to reply to a text and is returning your texts rather quickly, it doesn’t make him weird, it makes him interested in you.

Don’t lower your standards just because you’re 28, single, with two cats (while looking to rescue another one), and all your friends are getting engaged, married, or having kids. Sure, that guy might “look good”, but what else does he have to offer you? Do you understand you’re worth more than gold? That the guy who dates you should look at you and know, “she’s a daughter of the King, I better not mess with her heart.”

We all live super busy lives. If a guy or a girl is texting you in the middle of the day, they care enough about you to see how your day is going.

I find it ironic that the same generation that loves instant gratification is afraid of when someone responds right away to a text. It’s shocking. Trying to act busy is not cute, it’s not cool, it’s just plain rude.

We tend to hold our true emotions from someone. If we show affection to someone we like or are interested in we get penalized. Millennials value seeing who can show less emotion, it’s a constant competition of who can care the least in a relationship. If we show emotion or act interested, the person we are interested in also considers that needy, or desperate and in the end will make them run the opposite direction. What kind of backward idea is that?

It’s mind-boggling to me how we treat other humans when it comes to dating, I’m mostly speaking to guys, but some ladies should read this too.

As Millennials, we don’t feel the slightest bit inclined to apologize when we hurt someone when it comes to relationships, it’s a sad reality. We just text them saying “It’s not working out,” or some other joke like that, and that’s it. You block their number, and you’ll randomly see them again in a few months and you’ll act like you never met them.

This is called ghosting, which is not okay. Ghosting means; if we’re no longer interested in someone, we don’t need to tell them, we simply stop responding.

However, the biggest issue facing Millennials as we navigate these choppy dating waters is trust.

Trust is severely lacking in our dating culture. In this golden era of meaningless hookups, our generation puts more value on what someone looks like or how they make them feel rather than someone who treats them with respect.

Millennials, we need to know our worth. Know that you are worth waiting for, know that you shouldn’t just hop from bed to bed to find your worth, you are the sons and daughters of the one true King, and he would never want you to feel anything less than that. You are royalty!

To the people who do know their worth and are criticized for not falling into this hookup mentality, remember this: if you are being made fun for not looking for cheap thrills every night, hang in there, your perfect guy or girl is doing the same; you just haven’t met them yet.

Because we sometimes don’t see what we are worth, we fall into the dark hole known as one night stands, which in turn makes us distrust the opposite sex. We’ve all had past experiences which left us hurt, broken, or unable to believe love will ever find us again.

My generation longs for the love we see in movies, yet we are not willing to wait, which leaves most with a void in their love life that they try to a temporary fix. However, when you wake up that next morning in a stranger’s house, you will feel empty once again and will go looking for the next fix; isn’t that what makes an addict?

Some don’t even trust that love exists anymore because they have constantly been met with disappointment.

Nevertheless, it’s out there don’t lose hope. We just need to grow up, stop playing the Millennial Games, and get serious.

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