Lesson I Learned During My Starbucks Adventure

As I was waiting for my brother to finish getting his hair cut this afternoon, I decided to stop by starbucks to kill the time… Little did I know two girls would sit right behind me and not stop talking…

At first, it was odd to have these two talk at the top of their lungs about their love life… However, as I started listening to the conversation, it sounded more like a bad soap opera than real life.

One of the first things that stuck out to me was this:

Typical girl logic… Go for the guy who’s a jerk to you and not the one who actually treats you with respect… but then this happened:

I think it’s important to mention that the girl talking was about 21, at most 23. What is she doing with a married man in the first place? As I kept listening, she went into detail about how this man has a kid and how his (ex?) wife  hates him and how the kid has a rough time because she’s never around her mom… I admit, that’s messed up, but do you really need to talk about it in a loud voice at starbucks?

Then, things got very interesting:

Woah, woah, woah… Hold the phone! Did anyone else freak out like I did? This was a huge plot twist! Usualy you hear about infidelity on the man’s part, but this time the tables were turned and the wife actually cheated on him with another woman…

The girl continued to talk about how much she loves him (despite him being a dick to her):

I feel for her, I really do… But at the same time, I don’t feel bad at all. Then, just when I was about to judge her for being another one of those clueless Boca girls, the chick drops some words of truth that made me yell: PREACH!

Why can’t more women be like her? She pretty much called out her entire gender because she knows they are the ones who are friendzoning all the good guys, and dating all the jerks who don’t deserve a woman.

Now, just because this girl is smart, it doesn’t mean her friend shares her knowledge:

Oh honey… That’s the worst reason you can marry someone. What happens when he can’t keep it up? What happens if he isn’t the stallion he once was? Will the marriage crumble? maybe.

After that, the girls shared a few laughs over that remark before they decided to call it a night and leave.

I must admit, this was one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever heard in my life and I had a great time tweeting all of those out. However, as I sat there I started to realize something.. Why do women like the guys who treat them bad?

Think about it.

Every girl wants the “bad boy”. They want the guys who aren’t emotionally there, who don’t care about them, and only want to sleep with them. These guys are the ones who pull all the stops in the first date, and maybe go 110% into the relationship in the first month but drop to 10% after and these girls still love them no matter what.

Meanwhile, there you are.. The guy who adores her, treats her with respect, is always there for her, and all she sees in you is a friend, nothing more.

Let’s be real, is a girl who likes a “bad boy” someone you want to date? Why would you want a girl who wants someone who treats them with no respect?

Those girls might be fun to think about a relationship with, but at the end of the day they are already so broken that if you are the nice guy who tries to put the pieces back together, you’ll just fail. They like the guys who don’t treat them well, the like the kind of guys you are not. They want them, and they clearly don’t want you. Despite you showing them you are devoted to a relationship 200%.

If you are reading this and are thinking “wow, I’m in a situation just like this,” I urge you to let her go. Trust me, it’s not easy to do that, but at the end of the day you’ll save yourself time, money, and heartache.

Sometimes, what a girl like that needs is just a good friend to be there for her when everything crumbles down. So what? You’re not her boyfriend, but you are something that no boyfriend will ever be, her friend. The one who isn’t there just because you want to sleep with her, but rather the one who is there for her simply because you care so deeply for her that even if you had feelings for her, you will put them aside just so you can see her happy. Let’s be real, all that matters is her happiness, right?

I guess a better name for your position isn’t friend, but handyman.. You know, since you’ll be fixing a lot. Keep your head up though, who knows.. Maybe one day that girl will realize the only person who is always there for her is you and she’ll give you a shot.

(Honestly though… If that happens, please email me [pedro[at]heizer[dot]us] with your story so I know it can actually happen.)

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